Being My Better Self

Heya Earthlings,

If you're like me, there are two yous. One is who you actually are in the moment, and the other is who you strive to be—your "better self."

Yep, I'm a big fan of Socrates and the idea of "self-development through self-knowledge." This method allows someone to become a more moral and kind person. But I submit to you that being your better self goes beyond that. Or, to say it another way, also includes less high-faluting goals.

Like, being happy. You'll be happier if you head off mistakes and bad choices, right?  Putting together a budget is a great example. Or planning a schedule for how many pages or words you (or in this case, I) need to write on any given day to hit a turnover deadline in three months' time. 

And then there's the day-to-day ways I try to be my better self. Enter sticky notes*.

I'm always writing messages and reminders to myself to improve my life outcomes, such as "lock this!" on the garage door, "Save your sleep, don't eat after 8!" on a refrigerator shelf, "Close this!" next to the toilet, and so on. Over time, I sublimate these, and the sticky notes are (hopefully) no longer needed.

But new sticky notes always show up. Like today, after having spilled my coffee for the 2nd time in six months by swiveling my high-backed office chair, my newest better self reminder on a sticky note: "No coffee here! 

*I also send myself reminder emails every day, but sticky notes photograph better.

Where To Look For Hope

 Heya Earthlings,

I hope you got through yesterday without a single April Fool's Day groaner to contend with or, worse yet, a fake story you briefly thought was real. (Not that entirely true news stories aren't bad enough if you happen to be a fan of economics or the Constitution.)

On a related but more upbeat note, I just finished listening to a great interview that you might enjoy. It was conducted by one of my favorite new energy writers and podcasters, David Roberts. He interviewed a Chicago area congressional representative I've never heard of before by the name of Sean Casten. Wow! Rarely do I hear elected officials speak with such humanity and intelligence, especially in the face of being effectively powerless as a member of the House. The topic: 

The view from inside DC, with Rep. Sean Casten

I talk with the congressman about why Trump is meeting so little resistance, what can be salvaged of energy policy in the next four years, and where to look for hope.

Give it a shot, I think you might find something hopeful in his outlook, and possibly even something useful: https://www.volts.wtf/p/the-view-from-inside-dc-with-rep 

[Photo by Birmingham Museums Trust on Unsplash]

Exactly 20 Years Ago On My Blog

Hey Earthlings!

Did you know I've been blogging since 1999? And even though Apple nuked my original blog when they eliminated web space hosting, the Way Back Machine kept... bits of it. 

But I apparently have kept ALL of it in the dusty recesses of my hard drive. Batgirl says I'm a digital hoarder. I think this proves beyond a shadow of a doubt she's correct.

Anyway, are you interested in what I put on my blog extacly 20 years ago on March 10, 2005 (when I was still about 8 years away from quitting Wizards of the Coast?)

Well... it's not that interesting. Apparently I've been a political creature ever since I discovered the web. I've become a lot less like this in the last decade--but here's me talking about a pending bill that seemed sorta bad to 36 year old Bruce. Luckily, the bill ended up not getting passed, so there's that:

Posted: Thu - March 10, 2005 at 10:59 AM

I did a lot of martial arts in the 2000s

Today, when you, the average citizen reach the end of your financial ability to pay back your debts, you can file for bankruptcy. Debtors currently have discretion as to whether to attempt to get clear of debts and keep some assets, or to pursue a repayment plan.

Why is it that people go into bankruptcy? Is it because they can't control their credit card habit? Sometimes yes. But did you know that 50% of bankruptcies filed in the US are because of medical emergencies? And of those people, 2/3rds have insurance yet they still go bankrupt because they can't pay their deductible?

Ouch! That could easily be you or me! Good thing that you can establish a bankruptcy plan that fits your circumstances (such as if you've suffered through a medical emergency). Man, its good we live in a civilization where people help people, and we're not still out on the veldt.

But, wait for it...

The Senate is moving towards passing a bankruptcy bill that would strip discretionary powers from judges hearing bankruptcy requests. If you're an average Joe, no matter the reason you go into bankruptcy, you'll probably be forced into a repayment plan. Too bad--you're house will fetch a nice price and go to pay the deductibles you couldn't pay even with your medical insurance.

Why is the Senate even considering a bill that is so anti-citizen and pro credit corporation? Hmm, well it turns out that the credit/finance industry is a significant contributor to politicians, both Republican and Democrat. So even many boys and girls in blue are behind this terrible bill.

So... I advise you not to get sick.

I hope my back gets better. [Some context on my sign-out comment: On March 2nd 2005, I post about having really screwd up my back]

Oly Funk Fest 2025

Hey Earthlings!

We took a short break from reality, "funking off" to a festival in the nearby city of Olympia, WA, over an extended weekend and returned last night. Despite being Washington state's capital and just under an hour away, I've never visited. I've passed dozens of times, watching the freeway exit signs blip past on the way to Portland or some other Oregon destination.

Well, that deficiency is now addressed. I've visited Olympia's downtown area, anyway, and it gets our seal of approval (FWIW). I'm sure the three venues playing live funk and funk-adjacent music at all hours of the day during our visit contributed to our great impression. That aside, the downtown area was rich with restaurants, breweries and bars, shops, and other attractions, all in one walkable package. I was surprised and impressed.

The festival itself, as I alluded to above, was great. Two of the three venues were perfectly suited to dancing, and Batgirl and I were at pains to take advantage. We danced so much that my fitness watch decided I'd graduated to a new fitness tier! Well, I don't think I'll soon be able to replicate 3 days of 3+ hours of dancing, sad to say.

Some of the standout bands included Eldridge Gravy, Hillstomp, Clinton Fearon, and the Andy Coe Band, though everyone was great. Not all the musicians were strictly funk (or even that close, really) but all were really amazing. Overall, it was quite a nice, if short, vacation.

Dreamgineering

These last several months, my mental health has greatly improved by restricting my reading to select curated sources. One of those is Scientific American, and in particular, its Today in Science daily newsletter.

One article recently caught my attention because it discussed "engineering" dreams. The article is titled "The New Science of Controlling Lucid Dreams." 

I respectively suggest this alternate title: Dreamgineering ;).

It's so amazing that scientists are learning how to engineer sleepers' dreams to reduce nightmares, treat insomnia, and even just for fun.

In college some years ago, a friend living in a different state and I tried to induce lucid dreams, specifically so we could attempt to meet up the world of sleep. I'm sad to report that nothing ever came of those experiments, but our attempts have obviously stuck with me.

[Photo by Javardh on Unsplash]

Of course, I wonder how much such "dreamgineering" science might have been involved, historically and as an in-world basis for my current Patreon novel, Dreamrider in the Nightland. The novel is a near-future sci-fi-ish story, if you aren't aware. Though it's not hard science fiction, especially as revealed by the Dreamrider's patron in this last scene of chapter 10.

Fighting For Good Causes

Hey Earthlings!

Not long ago, I wrote the Cypher System Bestiary. One entry under the Modern genre is "billionaires" (level 5, attacks and Speed defense as level 3; effectively infinite resources).

The creature entry reminds us that it’s humane to remember that every billionaire is also a person. A few choose to direct their incredible fortune primarily towards humanitarian ends. Others buy sports teams and leagues, rare collectibles, and extravagantly expensive yachts. Many display childish behavior and get away with it. And more than a few got their wealth by founding businesses credibly accused of human rights violations and environmental devastation.

The upshot is that you can put a billionaire—along with a vampire, a weird west gunslinger, and a killer robot—in your next Cypher System game if you want.

Which is great, because tabletop role-playing games are fictional escapes. You don't need me to tell you that. Just look at the murder hobos most D&D adventuring parties include. Also generally fine, fun, and funny—assuming they’re not ruining the fun for other players—within the confines of the stories ttRPGs so brilliantly create.

It’s not fine when someone in real life decides they will deal with a situation like an adventurer battles monsters lurking in a dungeon. In reality, I don’t feel it’s laudable.

To crystallize that feeling far more eloquently than I, please welcome Batgirl, in her role as a guest blogger, to finish out this post.

Batgirl’s Take

There’s an appeal to the righteous outlaw trope, from Robin Hood to Butch Cassidy, Bonnie and Clyde to John Wick. But we all understand that there’s a distinction between the fantasy of law-breaking, particularly in fiction, and the reality of the brutality of murder.

Nobody idolizes John Wilkes Booth, Gavrilo Princip, Lee Harvey Oswald, or the 9/11 pilots, even though they believed themselves to be fighting for good causes. We remember them, rightly, as people who committed premeditated assassinations, who caused enormous suffering to the families and communities of the people they killed.

No matter how much we may or may not sympathize with the killers' adopted causes, we know they're not heroes. The real heroes and justice fighters are the people who work for the common good: Ghandi, Martin Luther King Jr, Cesar Chavez, Nelson Mandela, and Ceyda Sungur (Turkey's Lady in Red).

These are the people we really admire, the people who make a better world.

[Image from NBC News, showing Turkey's "Lady In Red" standing up to riot police right before they pepper spray her]

[Article originally published in my Patreon.]

Escape!

Hey Earthlings.

Whelp, here we are. Ain't great. Personally, I wasn't dismissing the polls showing Harris as less likely to win. Whenever I saw folks online or other places explaining why we shouldn't believe those polls, I didn't give in to hope. That sounds sad, I know, and I wish I'd been proven wrong. So when the election was called, I had already been processing the outcome for a while. Despite that prep, I would have still needed to take a couple of mental health days, as was kindly offered by my employer MCG, except I was already leaving for a few days away.

[Photo by Tom Barrett on Unsplash]

Yep, in an effort to check out other interesting places where the cost of living is less than the Seattle area now that we are almost empty nesters, Batgirl and I made a short trip. It turns out that traveling was a reasonable panacea. If you're still suffering, and you are in a position to visit somewhere new, even if it's just a day or two, I recommend it. If not that, then a walk outside for a few hours in the nearest green space. It doesn't change the reality, but it might give you an extra scintilla of resilience to cope.

Another reasonable panacea? Escape into another world entirely. I just finished Mur Lafferty's Chaos Terminal, second in the Midsolar Murders series, and liked it a lot. I'm also closing in on finishing my good friend Susan Morris' debut novel Strange Beasts. It's great, and you should check it out!

Hmm, what other fictional escapes are—oh right! There's also my Patreon--I've just made the thirty-second scene drop--in this one, The Dreamrider and Minerva have just met for the first time in the Nightland.

Travel 2024

 Hey Earthlings!

It's been a travel-rific year for me so far, which for someone who's only so-so about travel, has been an , uh... let's call it an interesting journey ;).

Some of the farther-away places I've stayed this year include Austin TX, Indianapolis IN, Eugene OR, and most recently, Denver CO where I was excited to hang out with the old high-school gang--we even enjoyed a couple of entirely wonderful RPG sessions!

But I've still got several trips ahead, including to Madison WI (for Gamehole Con next week--come find me, I'll be running these games and on these panels!), Cleveland OH, and Watertown SD (to celebrate my Mom's 75th birthday along with my siblings),

That's seven trips in a year, which is a record for me. And as I said, I'm a bit of a homebody, so there's always a bit of discomfort for me when it comes to travel. Unfortunately, that discomfort wasn't merely metaphorical on my trip to Denver a week or so ago, thanks to an unrelentingly painful knot in my upper back. 

Which is sort of a perfect segue into something that all this travel has me thinking about this year: Travel is often challenging and uncomfortable when you're going someplace you're not familiar with. But should I embrace this discomfort because I know it's good for me in the end?

Probably. Now that I've put all this time, I'm suddenly remembering the first time I went to the UK in early 2000 (Wizards wanted me to sell Gen Con UK con-goers on how great 4E D&D was going to be). The first two days crept up on me, throwing one challenge after another—how to turn on the lights my room, turn on the taps, adjust the thermostat, plug in my razer, and so many other little things that couldn't be taken for granted. The stress built up... but then suddenly on day three, my perspective shifted, and this wave of elation swept over me as I looked out the window and saw the morning sun on the countryside. I was on another continent, I was making new friends, and I was in it for the next week, so no use in doing anything other than enjoy it! That was a great feeling, and sure enough, the rest of my trip was fantastic. 

So yeah. Travel can lead to personal growth. No news there. But that knowledge is something I try to keep in mind before each new trip. Homebody Bruce is home most of the year. He needs to get out once in awhile, right?

If only I could leave the knot in my back at home.

Photography Decoupled From Reality

 

Greetings, Earthlings!

We've entered the era of photos no longer being proof of anything. With some new features offered by my phone, I can include mostly realistic-looking changes to a base photo that are anything but real. Like, this entirely fictitious cute kitten shown in the photo above. I assure you, there is no such kitten here.

I've also given our dog a faux tiger cub companion, added weird purple spiders to my desk, and called down alien landing ships to investigate the front yard. The latter is something I've wanted to pull off for decades, harkening back to when I was a kid with a film camera--I taped pieces of paper cut like saucers to my bedroom window, then took a photo of the sky. The result was blurry images of flying saucers in the sky.

Hmm, well, I guess the more things change, the more they stay the same. I'm afraid I don't have a hot take on the topic other than "I guess we'll see where this all goes."

Gen Con 2024—Lows and Highs, Mostly Highs

 

Greets, Earthlings!

I returned from Gen Con 2024 on Monday and brought home with me a case of COVID. Boo!

But rather than let the last part of a week-long experience define the whole thing, let me take a moment to describe how great the preceding week was.

MCG brings a large staff to Gen Con to set up our dedicated game-room-and-sales-booth just a hallway's width away from the dealer's room. The dedicated room has the benefit of being near a high-traffic area without the downsides of being mid-stream in a high-traffic area. This means customers have more time and mental energy to browse and ask questions. And those playing our games who have a good time can look over their shoulder, see all the goodies, and grab something appealing.

In fact, MCG brought such a large team that my set-up duties were minimal--great job team! Especially to Charles and Tammie Ryan for marshaling and planning the entire thing. So Tuesday night was a breeze, Wednesday's "set-up" even more so, but also included some amazing sales training for those of us assigned booth duty--that was a first, and I learned a lot. Later, I enjoyed the company of other game designers at the Diana Jones Awards. (Maybe that's where I got COVID?)

The rest of the week was a combination of booth time—talking to people who were not feeling the pressure of the constant motion in the dealer's room was awesome—and running games. I ran an adventure I wrote—Ghosts of Iron Saddle (a weird west adventure)—twice, and another adventure—Bake Me Another Body (a Numenera adventure by Sean Reynolds) once.  I love running adventures at conventions—everyone is so happy to be there. (I hope I wasn't a COVID vector for any of them.)

In the way that all things seem to rush by in a twinkling, Gen Con concluded. So we tore down and packed up, and it was time to say our goodbyes to another great tabletop roleplaying game celebration.  

In fact, it's been 5 days since I got back. And today's the day I finally feel "better" (as the CDC's latest guidance uses the term), which means I can return to regular activities (like MCG and my evening Patreon writing), so long as I'm masked in public for the next 5 days. Yay!

A Year in the Blink of an Eye

 Hey Earthlings!

Remember when time crawled by as a kid? When weeks seemed endless, and months stretched into eternity? If you're like me, those days are long gone. Now, I blink, and a month vanishes. A year? Gone in a flash. I've railed against this phenomenon before, even sharing strategies to slow things down in a post from about four years ago (here: Expanding Subjective Time). It seems like only yesterday when I wrote that ;).

But today, I'm taking a different approach. What if time speeding by isn't always a bad thing?

Take our current heatwave. With temperatures soaring to 100°F and a heat advisory in effect, the prospect of racing through to the rainy season doesn't seem so terrible.

Sun Dogs in Oregon

This perspective applies to all sorts of other things. When facing a work deadline a month or two away, there's a strange comfort in knowing it'll be here in short order. Yes, I'll still put in all the effort—and enjoy the process every time I come up with some new adventure wrinkle or rule—but the swift passage of time brings a certain confidence. I know that I'll make that deadline, and afterward, it'll seem like it took hardly any time at all.

The same goes for anticipated joys. Whether it's celebrating the completion of a project or looking forward to an upcoming trip, the knowledge that these events are just around the corner is heartening.

That's especially true when I'm sick or someone I'm close to is hurting. While it's tough in the moment, time will see that sickness healed or that difficulty overcome sooner than it feels. Sometimes, we just need to let time do its thing.

Of course, time won't "do its thing" if I decide to play video games all day. A hundred little daily tasks call out for completion—for work, home, and for my family and friends. By tracking these moments, savoring them, and reflecting on them, I could slow down my perception of time's passage...

But today? I'm eagerly anticipating 1 AM tomorrow when the temperature will mercifully drop below 70°F.

Interestingly, there's one thing that doesn't seem to be rushing by—the Patreon novel I'm writing. But hey, at least each scene I write gives me a chance to share some new insight or odd thought that's been tickling my brain with ya'll, which I cross-post here to my blog. Win-win, right?

2005

Today, fellow MCGer Dom Dickey posted this in our company Slack, "If Bowling for Soup wrote the song 1985 today, it would be about 2005," (like in this 2024 video, done in the same style, but about 2005: https://youtu.be/zaAYUZqZvlA?si=HLPyni4uOzER0x-4)

Of course, the 80s were much more formative for me—the last few years of junior high and high school, then off to college in 1986—than 2005, when I was mid-career at Wizards of the Coast. It probably has a bigger resonance than my life during my mid-30s. At least, that was my initial thought.

Still, watching the video made me reminisce with a friend. So I looked back into the picture archive, and what do you know? I found an image of me, my ex-wife (but still good friend) Dee, and that friend Greg Heck and a brand new Honda Element my ex-wife had bought.

Now as it happens, the purchase of that car was preceded by one of the biggest arguments I've ever had. I was exceedingly pro-hybrid at the time (because there were no electric vehicles to be pro about in 2005), and the Element was not a hybrid. I got so mad I left the house, driving away in my Prius hybrid (model year 2005!) to cool off.

During the drive, I realized I had no say in her purchase, that I was being a tremendous jerk, and that I owed someone an apology. So I went home and did just that.

Dee purchased the car, we picked up our friends Greg and Teresa, and we went out to eat to celebrate. Someone ordered an olive plate for the table. Guess what? I hated olives. HATED them. But I was in a "changing my mind" sort of mood, so I tried a few. And you know what? I LOVED them.

And I have loved olives ever since. And you know what else I learned I loved? Changing my mind. Which is a habit that has served me well over the years.

I guess 2005 was more formative than I first gave it credit for. Go figure.